HOLY CRAP. SLEEPING OR EATING AWESOME FOOD. This is like... really hard. XZDDD

I guess I would pick eat a delicious breakfast?? I really like eating, AND I love breakfast food. And I could just go back to sleep after I eat it LOL. Well unless I had to work?? But like, then I wouldn't be able to sleep in, either, so this isn't really a valid question anymore if I hypothetically work in it LOL

Anyway, school was closed today because of snowstorm so it doesn't matter that I took off LOL yay :D Yesterday my mom gave me a philosophers book and tea... which is awesome, but it's like... trendy tea O_o Like they are not normal teas, but like they are called stuff like "calm zen" and stuff... XZD;; so it's like weird mix tea stuff and like all of them have some kinds of mint and etc. in them. But they will prolly still be good, plus they came in an awesome tea box thing, so I can put real teas in it later.

Last night I played a bit more FF12, of course. I basically just went into Elruyt (sp?!) Village and stopped... lol. I like, got really tired suddenly (er, I also 'took a break' because of the garifs LOL)

And I forgot to mention in the previous entry, but I did end up going back and fighting those crocs, and I went and cleared out the necrohol as well. It... wasn't very hard XZD; I found a rare game in there, too. There are still a bunch of sealed doors or whatever in there, so I'll have to come back later, but yeah.

There was like this weird strain of mimic in there, and when I was fighting it, I backed up (I was playing Balthier) and found this like... thing in the corner, and if you go to it, like... a baknamy comes out and sells you ethers O_o it's really weird. But I was able to sell stuff to him, too, and get some bazaar goods.

The place I thought was "too hard" in the necrohol was really like... not that hard, it's just that when you first come in from salikawood it's like... really scary because like you can get 5 or 6 baknamys like... pounding on you o___________o and that IS difficult to survive, lol. But like, when I came from the other way it wasn't that bad at all. Sometimes I would still get like 4 baknamys at once and it was bad :( but I didn't die or anything. I mean maybe used a couple p. downs, but that's it.

I completed all the bestiary I could find in there except for one thing, the dark elemental. I ran around across the whole place like twice looking for a second one, and it got too tedious so I just gave up. I can get another one when I have to go back to go in those doors.

I still don't have the like... gator things from ozmone plains (I HATE GATOR MONSTERS LOL) and I don't have Seeq and Garif entries filled either X_X;;

I also went shopping -- got up to 7 of some more equips, and then I went and got 2 more thief's cuffs so I don't have to just sit there with one person stealing from rare game and hope I get the items before it dies >_>

I checked for new hunts but there is nothing :( At this point in the game, you can only defeat 14 marks and work on 15 hunts (you can't get the reward for the gil snapper until the dry returns to giza) and it sucks. I wanted to go on hunts with Larsa, but I've completed them all :(

I don't want to do the events in the elruyt village because the viera are so freaking mean XZD; It makes me feel bad. But that means I get to fight that big wyrm soon (yay <3) and I also get to see Mjrn <3 <3

Everyone has learned all the licenses for like... everything I own. So like the only licenses they don't have are for like... weapons I don't have yet and stuff O_o Everyone has all the augments and gambits. I'm considering just having everyone learn the rest of the top half of the license board, because like... they don't have much left. Ribbon, a few technicks, and the magicks. Magicks will prolly cost the most (but Fran already has them all... and she has Ribbon, too, I think O_o). Everyone has like 1000 LP though, and nothing to spend it on. Filling the bestiary and hunting gets you a ton of LP O_o

I also got Curaga <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 and I want to make some gambits for it, but like... my gambits are filled for everyone except like... Basch O_o It would help if I didn't have everyone using protect, shell, and bubble on themselves constantly >_> But I don't want to get rid of those gambits... I do not want to sit and constantly cast those things on myself. Plus like, you don't really realize Libra is gone when you have other things like protect, shell, etc. cast, so like... you could just WALK ONTO TRAPS because your libra died and you didn't know T_T

OK, well, I'mma go eat a bagel, I guess, and start on my FF12 for today <3 I'm at around 65 hours, btw. O_o and like I'm nowhere in the game, lol. But eventually I will get to points where like... I've already cleared out areas and there's nothing for me to do. Like when I ACTUALLY have to to go to mosphoran highwaste, salikawood, etc., I will be able to just run right past them o_o; Well, no, because when I get to the time to actually go to mosphoran highwaste, I'll be able to do all that sidequesty stuff there :) And in Salikawood, I'm going to have to help the moogles fix the gate... XZD;;; OK, well, at least I won't have to complete bestiary and stuff, and I'll be able to defeat fiends so easily that I'll be basically just running around.

A short rambling about FF12, with spoilers:

( whoasd;glkn )

Anyway there's a snowstorm again tonight lasting until wednesday, so uh... yeah T_T ( Read more... )

Oh, and for those of you who are wondering how my characters are doing in FF12 (which is um, no one??), ( Read more... )

Also, unrelated, but is "menagerie" a common word...? ( Read more... )

Wow, OK, I sat here and typed a lot O_o

tl;dr version:

Garif are hot
Rev are hotter
FF12 needs moar nu mou
Vaan is cute now?
Ashe is randomly dumb but I love her
Ashe is hot
Larsa is hot O_o
Al-Cid is hot
No one in FF12 has a mom
Just kidding, they do?
Everyone in Ivalice is hot
Interracial sex is hot
Snowstorm is not hot
Menagerie (hot or not?)

STILL KINDA LONG SORRY

And more: I have no FF12 icons :( I need to make one (or more). IDK what I want icon of though. I want like... garif icon LOLOL. And like maybe Ashe icon. And uhhhhhh OH OH OH ZALERA ICON.

P.S.: I love Ivalice games XZD

Want to purchase in the following month:

Pokémon Heart Gold - $40
Pokémon Soul Silver - $40
Final Fantasy XIII - $60
Metal Gear Solid 4 - $20
Playstation 3 - $300
Total: $460

Funds available: about $4

>_>;

Anyway, these last couple of days I haven't done anything but play FF12. There are things I need to do but I'm just... not doing them O_o I've made a lot of progress in the game though >_>; Over the course of two days (sat and sun) I played a total of 25 hours. The rest was spent sleeping or eating (I slept a lot each day... eating was no more than 30 min total each day... and I watched an episode of Futurama on Sunday because I was eating and my brother was watching it, and it was really funny so I finished it before returning to the game).

And here's a big rundown of what I've accomplished in the game:

( o_o )

Short life update:

Nothing has really happened because I can't stop playing FF12. Not only is the game really awesome, but I'm really anxious and stressed these days so I think I like... have grown to have a strong addiction and can't bring myself to do anything other than play the game, eat, sleep, and post on lj about ff12 O_o

The cysts in my eye are doing better... the biggest one (2nd one... I named it Herman) is settling down and getting smaller, and the first one (originally much larger than Herman, I named it Quaqua) is not almost non-existant... it still exists, but it's moslty under my eyelid and you can't really see. I mean it's not red and bulbous on the outside anymore. But still under the eyelid and has a 'head' under there O_o. There is now a third one (-_-) that has started growing kindof on top of where Quaqua was, but more to the left. I haven't named it yet. It kindof came to a head like a bad pimple, but it isn't getting very big... just red... I think it might actually just be some kind of offshoot of Quaqua and not a totally new one??

Also, I have been drinking a lot of tea lately and it has made me realize how... not that great soda is, lol. I mean in like... taste/desireability ?? Like, Dr Pr is great, but if I'm not just ALWAYS drinking soda, it makes soda like... a lot less appealing. Or something.

And that's about it. I mean, it's not like I have anything to report on... eating and growths on my eye are fairly passive, so I can partake in those things while playing FF12 lolol.

OK I just left this on the screen for an hour and forgot to post it. *posts*

<3



Oh, gosh. My education was certainly informative and fun and gave me a lot of personal benefit. Of course I got a really wonderful foundation of Japanese and a ton of knowledge. I opened myself to the fields of linguistics and Korean. I learned a lot about social things, too. I was exposed to a lot of diversity and learned a lot about myself. I grew a lot from my schooling.

As far as preparing me for my career... it was pretty much worthless. All it did was prepare me to be required to spend all the time I took in school AGAIN preparing for a career =__=; But I guess on the first day, they did tell me that truly learning Japanese would take around 8 years for most people, so I can't be surprised that I don't really have Japanese skills enough to do anything after only 4.

This is a bit of a depressing WB today :( Because this is something I stress about a lot, lol.

Anyway, short life update:

Going to do Beyblade sometime today. Stressful week is OVER. High school kids are mean. We had a winter storm. Snow everywhere. I bought a subscription to a porn site for the weekend that I wanted to go to. I don't know why I'm always fooled -- the previews always lead you to believe there's way more content and way more quality than there really is. The preview site is always 10x the quality of the actual site, lol. But it was only a couple dollars and you got access to like 20 sites, and there was a decent variety of stuff, and I got a few GB of really nice videos and photo sets.

FF12 progress:

( Spoilers )

tl;dr version: Defeated Earth Tyrant as early as possible, mid 20s in level, and that's about where I am in the game :)

After I finish FF12, I don't know what I'm going to play. I've been considering starting yet another new game in FFTA2 (or maybe continuing my old one, if it feels like I can pick it back up) since I'm all like obsessed with Ivalice right now (I looooooove Ivalice games <3), but I also kinda want to play FF4 and start working on After Years, even though there's a million chpaters and you have to buy them all =_=

And then I want to do another playthrough of like... 6, 7, 8, 9, and 10... O_o just because I love them all. And then after a replay of 10 I'll do another new-game+ on 10-2 and try to pick up those items that let you break the damage cap (because I didn't get them on the current run) and go for the Via Infinito <3 I got as far as the giant tonberry this time... can't beat him though :( He's really hard! I'm sure if I kept trying I could find a way, but... just spamming the best abilities of the Mascots doesn't seem to work >_>

... Gah now I want to play 10-2 T_T;;;

OK gotta go get started on 12 for the day. It's already almost noon :( I slept too long and spent too much time sitting here doing nothing D:!!

A Winter Storm Warning is in effect. A significant winter storm is occurring and is a threat to life and property. Stay vigilant for severe weather.

Despite this, school will probably not be closed tomorrow, and I'll have to drive across town to work.



My inner spirit is definitely a cockroach (American roach). I have come to really love roaches because I identify with them, too. Not that cockroaches have the same feelings as me or something, but I like... project my feelings onto them, lol. It's like I think our existence is... er, nevermind. I'll just leave it at that. XZD; I don't want to weird people out. I'm not an otherkin cockroach, I just identify with them somehow.

If I woke up as an animal, I don't know... it would depend on the circumstance. If I kept my current mind with all my memories and stuff... I don't know. I couldn't choose. I'd want to be a sexy animal so I could mate with others of my kind LOL. If I didn't have any memory or anything, and just WAS an animal, like an all new life, I don't really care. Anything is fine. Not like it would matter since my old self would be gone. It's the same as dying. XZD

Anyway, I had like... NO free time today... except for at like 9:30PM... but I also had to take a shower. So I sat here and procrastinated and now it's 1AM and I have to get up in like 4 hours plus I have to take a shower still. T_T

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE CANCEL SCHOOL T_T And then I can spend the whole day drinking tea and playing FF12. Except for that it's Amanohashi's birthday so I need to do something celebratory. I was thinking of drawing some Amanohashi pics but idk what to draw. I was considering a pic of like... PC and GORO like... "fighting" over him, or just both molesting him, lol. And then I was thinking of drawing a nude Amanohashi b/c afterall it's his birthday suit lol. And then of course I considered hardcore stuffs. But IDK. I'll prolly be lazy and just play FF12 all day.

I need to do beyblade tomorrow. I was gonna do it today but I don't have time. I like just didn't do it at all for like a week because I got all depressed and stressed out and now Mr Zanon is like gonna flip over it. Er, that's not to say anything bad about him, it's def my fault and everything. And like it would be a rightful flip.

Being a linguist is frustrating.

I have a half day of work today, but it's difficult work again.

Might get to go to bww tonight.

I just want to play FF12.

OK I am like suddenly very stressed out and like... depressed. IDK why. It just like... suddenly began while I was playing FF12, which is weird because like... normally I can escape into games pretty well. I was at a fairly tedious part (bestiary entry for Wyverns in Ogir-Yensa Sandsea) so I guess my mind could wander.

But then I ate a sandwhich and now I'm having a Dr Pepper (like my 3rd today and I've only been home a couple hours >_>) and I'mma go play again. I actually get to advance now, and that's pretty exciting. Filled all the entries for everything I could find in the Ogir-Yensa, and I fully explored what was open of the Zertinan Caverns (which was surprisingly little -- I swear you could get farther in them at this point :\ )

I know a ton of stuff will open up after the Tomb of Raithwall, though, so I'll be able to do a lot of exploring soon :) Time to go help the Urutan-Yensas with their problem and get a reward and then explore the Nam-Yensa. Also BASCH yay. LOL.

But yeah I don't feel depressed, but I feel like REALLY stressed. Like I don't want to do ANYTHING but play FF12, not even like... get up to get Dr Peppers, but getting up is def worth it, so I force myself. But like I don't even want to take my sweater off even though it's uncomfortable, but like... I can't motivate myself to do it >_> But somehow I'm in here like... typing on lj lol. I am easily able to motivate myself to do that I guess O_o

Anyway, when I got my Dr Pr, my brother was watching this movie called Dude, Where's My Car?, and this was my first time seeing it, but I just saw this one clip... and like, they found some degrees in a locker or something, and then suddenly could speak Japanese. I don't know what the joke was supposed to be, but I thought it was really funny because I know so many people who think that having a degree in Japanese means you can speak Japanese and like... IDK, that was what the joke was to me, so like... it was like... an actually intelligent joke (unlike the other like 9 jokes I saw in the few seconds I was watching, lol). But I'm sure most people would not get the joke like I did. And maybe those weren't even Japanese degrees, lol. I don't know. I couldn't really see it as I was just passing by in the kitchen. I just saw it as I passed by and they were getting stuff out of a locker, and then I heard like... some really messed up sounds that kinda sounded like Japanese, and I looked up and saw they had pulled out some diplomas. XZD

BTW I have been listening to music on playlist.com O_o Normally I don't listen to music at the computer, but like... ABBA and Queen and Duran Duran and stuff <3 <3 I haven't heard it in forever. And like yeah now I'm listening to Rihanna and like everyone hates this song but I just love the way it sounds. I know the lyrics are like... really dumb, but they're like... cute in a way, IDK. I think Rihanna lyrics all have this like... cute charm, but I can't explain it LOLOL. Plus the first time I ever heard this song was in a Harvest Moon music video that was surprisingly well done for a GBA game MV o_o;;

OK back to adventure. I have things I like... need to be doing, like repaying taxes and beyblade and stuff but like... IDK I just really don't want to do anything but FF12 X_x; Call me lazy or stupid or unrealistic, idc. I don't want to do anything X_X; I'm tempted to not go to work tomorrow. I just don't feel like doing anything. I kinda wish I could like... draw or write but like... I don't want to do that either... I just... want to want to. I can't even watch prons lol. I can just update lj and play ff12 and drink dr prs.

Dr Pepper is a panacea, though. I'll probably recover after drinking enough of it.

PS: Everyone in FF12 is hot. Like, even Larsa. I don't know why I like that kid, lol.

I guess. I did not act my proper gender role or something, and he was "normal," so I was sexually harassed, had my things stolen/tampered with/destroyed, and pretty much lived in fear the entire time. We resolved the conflict by me putting in a lot of work to move, being punished for it, and then being harassed over the internet for a while until he finally just got bored of it or something.

Anyway, today is Wednesday. This week is feeling slow. Despite my saying that I had no motivation to write on my novel recently, I actually wrote quite a bit. I'd say I doubled what I already had (but like... the actual WRITTEN part was not very much anyway -- most of my time I spent on it had gone to planning... so now I have about 6 pages of actual draft).

I really want to write it because I really love the characters in the beginning, but I kindof don't have the will because I feel bad about how they pretty much leave the story after the first 'act.' Like, the setting changes after the beginning, and all the characters but the main character kindof get pushed aside for a long while. And I really like them, so I don't want to stop writing about them. But the characters that kindof "take their place" are really... annoying, lol.

Anyway, I don't have a lot of time before work so I'mma just leave this here. I guess I didn't write much. It feels weird to make a journal entry of this length. It's not just a few lines, but it's not really long. I don't know what to do with it, ahaha. Today I'm not even making an effort to get dressed -- I just put on khakis and a light sweater thing, and I'll wear a coat if it's too cold. I don't even care XZD I like wearing ties and everything but like... no willpower, lol.

I don't want to work anymore X_X; I just want to sit at home and play FF12 all day. And sometimes like... draw or eat or sleep, but just FF12. lol.

Okkkkkkkkkkkkk so you may remember (or maybe not) not long ago I complained that I "lost" my mustache comb.

But I finally found it. It was IN MY BROTHER'S MOUTH because he stole it and was using it for a chew toy and scrapes it on his infrequently washed face X_______________X So now I def don't have a mustache comb. And it's not like you can easily just go to CVS and buy one or something. I'll have to buy some shaving set or order a special mustache comb online and like YEAH def don't have the resources/energy/whatever for that right now. I guess I can shop for them online but like wtf. I liked mine.

And then he tried to say that he stole it only a few days ago, then further retconned it to "yesterday" later in the conversation. Like um STEALING IS STUPID AND BAD NO MATTER WHEN YOU DO IT. Like it's not like knowing that the whole time I couldn't find it it wasn't stolen, but it was only stolen recently is going to make me be like "Oh OK, that's cool you stole it then." T_T

What sucks is that he has no remorse for doing these things X_x; Like he knows that he hurts my feelings and makes me feel betrayed because he um -- BETRAYS ME -- and constantly betrays my trust (because I am stupid and always end up forgiving him and being his brother and trusting him again later) but yeah... he does all this to me and DOES NOT CARE. Like I blatantly tell him I feel bad and feel betrayed, and he even READS THIS LIVEJOURNAL which talks about how he makes me feel bad and he just KEEPS DOING STUFF. It's been a while since he stole anything from me (other than just using my headphones without asking, but that's not really the same, but still annoyed me because it's like I don't actually have possessions anymore because everything just somehow belongs to my brother and I'm just borrowing it or storing it or something) and I know mustache comb is like a "small" thing to steal but still. The principle is the same -- you see something that you obviously know is not yours and TAKE IT AS YOUR OWN. And there's no way I can use it again after it's been on his face and in his mouth T_T It's just too gross and I would never want to use it even if I knew it got washed. So like, now it's gone.

And everyone here should know that I'm really sentimental about my mustache and mustache accessories, lol. So even though it didn't have a lot of monetary value (well, it potentially could, since that particular one was part of a set, and I'd have to buy the whole set again which is like $80 to get the same one... and cheap ones are NOT the same, because I trashed the cheap one I got from my newer but cheaper set after finding it to be useless and painful) it still had a lot of value to me, and it had a lot of PRACTICE value, because my other combs are like huge combs that I use to comb my large, thick head hair, and those are not good for combing my little mustache. :( And like I don't like my mustache to go uncombed because it's long enough to where I def can't do that, because it'd be like all over the place and hideous and like... bothering me by going in my mouth and stuff all the time.

So srsly I've been sitting there and taking like huge combs and hairbrushes to my upper lip because I have no other option, and my like... emo woes about my beloved comb and my extra stress in combing is all due to my brother -_-;

But he doesn't care. And I'm about to take him out and buy him a drink at the new cafe anyway, because being pissy and not doing it after I invited him will not solve anything or bring my poor comb back.

And because he's a child molester and a moocher, he has absolutely no income so he can't replace it. Not that he would anyway. Just like my favorite sweatshirt that my mom got me for my birthday that he stole and got it lost/destroyed... he def had a job then but made no attempt to make up for it.

I just don't understand. How can you like... take things that are clearly not yours and just... keep them? Like yeah once I ate a Starburst out of the candy dish in a classroom. And I've downloaded MP3s before buying the MP3s or albums officially (though I have deleted all the stuff I never ended up officially buying anyway), but like to just steal people's clothing, jewelry, etc., is like so wtf. And like he's stolen really valuable (in money) things before like... engagement ring and complete set of Pokemon cards and stuff. And like... yeah it's just so messed up. I can't imagine doing something so horrible to someone else.

And what's worse is that he often does this to people he knows, and then even when he realizes how much he hurts and bothers other people he DOES NOT CARE. HOW CAN YOU DO THAT? Like isn't guilt and shame and feeling sorry and stuff like... supposed to be normal human feelings?

I know this is a huge rant over a comb but whatever. I'm not materialistic and would much rather lose something expensive I didn't care about than lose a cheap comb that I loved. And I feel sad for the people who are so caught up in material things and money that they can't understand that stealing things of low monetary value is just as bad as stealing anything else.

I mean, like... you can only sell elixirs for 5 gold in Final Fantasy V, making it one of the most "worthless" items in the game, but like... I would def not want someone to come along and steal all my elixirs. :\

But yeah the worst part is like ... hurting people and not caring. Like I can't even comprehend that. Like if I accidentally stand too close to someone in a line and feel like I make them uncomfortable, I like... feel really bad about it and worry about it all day. My brother like blatantly destroys other people's feelings and betrays their trust and like... does not show any remorse for it. That is like... just... wtf. He makes no effort to make up for it or even say sorry. Instead he lies, makes up excuses, etc. to like... try to make it look like he didn't do it or that it was not so bad that he did it. Like, he's so much more worried about "getting out of it" than like... repairing the damage he did to other people's hearts. Like, how can anyone be so self-centered...? Obviously he stole the comb and I found him chewing on it. My comb is gone. No matter what excuses he has, that's not going to change. Is lying about it really better than just saying sorry? I don't understand. Like honestly I'm just so baffled and annoyed and a;sldkfja;sldkfja;lsdkfjasl;dfkj.

OK well time to go treat my brother to a trip to the cafe -_-;

Today was stressful as heck X_X; I don't want to go into it with specifics, but I was working in special needs department today. I really like working with special needs kids because it feels rewarding to help them, and it feels nice to realize their intelligence and unique qualities and personalities behind their disabilities. They are humans and children just like all the other students, and they have the same thoughts and feelings, they might just have problems expressing themselves or controlling themselves or solving complex problems... but they're still as much people as the rest of us.

And it def makes me sad that these kids and the people who love them live in a world where everyone says that things that aren't to their liking are "retarded." But I'm def not going to turn this into another "omg prejudiced world" rant because pretty much every waking minute of my life I do nothing but sit in awe at how hateful and exclusive people are, so I can't be bothered to whine about all the instances I find.

Anyway anyway, it was definitely a rewarding day, and I left with a really good feeling, and it was all smiles at the end of the day. But it is def HARD to keep up with those kids -- and the department seems quite understaffed, and they have teachers who are injured and there were lots of subs, so it was really difficult for everyone. Plus because of all the changes, everyone had to like... make up what to do as we went along, so without routine, that kind of work is even harder.

But yeah today was a REALLY difficult day and I'm like... mentally exhausted. Somewhat physically, too, as I was running on only like... 5 hours in bed, IDK how much actual sleep. I was pretty much awake the whole time because I had knocked my blankets and pillows off the bed (which is weird b/c I NEVER do that) and was just REALLY REALLY cold (there's a draft in my room, so it's always freezing in there. srsly, my phone fogs up and everything X_X) but also half asleep so I didn't understand why I wasn't sleeping and why my body felt a weird uncomfortable/painful sensation. X____X; Then around like 5 AM I like suddenly jolted up and was like ... oh wow, it's cold. So I put the blanket on but I felt sick and cold and didn't want to sleep, and I was like... SO SO SO SO thirsty. So I went and grabbed a green palmer and chugged it, and then I got a call to go to work while I was making that lj entry I think.

So yeah. So tired :( I kinda wanna put in for work tomorrow and spend tomorrow playing FF12 and getting laundry done. Because I desperately need laundry done. I thought that I had certain clothes in the closet, but I didn't, and I had to kindof make a makeshift outfit this morning because I had NOTHING that matched. I wore the tan knit vest with a tan turtleneck and the brown pants that aren't actually brown and it was WEIRD. But it kinda worked and it didn't matter much because it's not like kids actually care.

I got to experience permanent teachers teaching kids wrong stuff again X_x; Like that seasons are caused by the Earth's orbit in that it's winter when the Earth is farthest from the sun. X___X; And other things like that. But like, w/e, I am starting to become jaded to the fact that kids get wrong information taught to them all the time lolol.

I want to play FF12, but even as mindless as that game can get, I don't feel up to it O_o I don't want to do anything, but I want to like... keep my mind busy. Maybe I should like... play Puyo or PUMP or something.

Also, I am like totally broken because I think about FF7 all the time now X____X; I'm like... ashamed to like that game because I spent so much time hating on it before lolol. And even after playing and liking it, I still don't feel it's even that awesome, but I just... really like it right now for some reason O_o My love for Reeve and Cait Sith is of course not helping this haha <3 <3 And like I randomly want to see Heidegger LOLOL and like... IDK LOL I'm just going to stop talking about it >_>;

But yeah I'm def going to draw some Reeve x Cait Sith prons some time. And I def want to do more FF5. Normally I fantasize about whatever I'm currently playing, so I should be like... having FF12 fantasies, but even when I try, I end up thinking about FF5 O_o;;; For SNES sprites, that game is pretty freaking sexy, lololol. But srsly though. Most of my fantasies end up involving King Tycoon these days, too O_o;;;

I'm considering like... adding tags for games every time I talk about them and not just when I post progress or art of them. Is that a good idea...? XZD;;

OK before we start the entry, I'd like to point to this: ( feminist rant )



OK ON TO THIS LOL. ( what you would expect XZD )

OK that's the end of my answer to that lol.

( and then, on art... but like... mostly just complaining )

Firstly/quickly, I found this site today. It's pretty awesome XZDD

And then, I'mma update my FF12 progress. I don't really feel like talking that much about it, so it'll be (kinda) short.

( blah blah blah )

But yeah, I feel like playing FF4 a lot now XZD I also want to play FF5 again >_> Even though I like... just finished it. I want to play FF7 again, too, because I love Cait Sith and Reeve and kinda love Barret. XZDDD

Amanohashi's birthday is this week. I should draw something.

OK the other day I had a really weird/scary dream. I don't remember it well now, but I was really scared. It started out where like... I was at high school as a student, and I was friends with Laura (Joe's gf) and like... we were working on some project thing together (oh but like Joe didn't exist in this dream). And like, we ended up driving really far for some random reason (the project was like to make a song about a teacher or something, and we couldn't because they were all boring so I suggested making a song about how all the teachers were boring or something, idk X_X) and anyway the driving. We went to like... some weird like... daycare... big... business... building... place, idk. Like IDK what it was, I forget. Oh, it was some kind of hospital.

And like, we went inside and everyone was like... dead. Like bodies just everywhere. And we were like ?!?!?! and then one of them got up and started talking (the bodies). And then like... it was weird and like... I was like hey lets go and we left. But like when we got outside (all we did was turn and go back out the door) like... Laura wasn't there. And like... I tried going all over the place to find her, like in other entrances of the building. One place was an arcade/discoveryzone like place, and like... I got attacked by a bully there and beaten up. I went all over and like bullies or dead people kept like... looking at me angrily and chasing me. Mind you the dead people were just like... freshly fallen over bodies, not zombies or anything, so they just looked like regular people, but I just knew they were dead, even though they were like... doing things as if alive and didn't act any different than normal living people.

Then I was outside in this like... tunnel road thing, and suddenly some crazy demon zombie thing appeared and was really angry. And it was Laura, but she like... became that monster because she was upset that I abandoned her. And then she like started attacking me with stuff and like eating me and I died. And like it was the scariest thing ever O_o because she wasn't a zombie... she was like SCARY MONSTER.

And then like I woke up and went back to sleep, and I had the SAME DREAM AGAIN but the beginning was different. In the beginning of this one, we were already in the downtown area where that hospital thing was, but still far enough to have to drive a while to get to it. And we were older and like... some kind of detectives. And I was like... trying to hit on Laura or something (we weren't classmates doing a project or anything, but like... detective partners). And like I said I'd get her a ring and take her to that hospital place (like... IDK ITS NOT LIKE IT WAS ROMANTIC LOL) and then we got there and like... all the people were dead to our surprise, and then we left and Laura disappeared X_X; The search for her was a lot shorter that time, though, like no arcade... and then I ended up finding the demon thing again and got attacked T_T

Anyway, I need to start getting ready to go, so I'll make the game updates short:

Bionic Commando: I got past quite a few levels in the commando run FINALLY. It's scary because even with armor upgrades, you can die in one or two hits by ANY kind of enemy :( I'm afraid of future biomechs. But I'm at the part where Spencey sees the crashed recon plane and says there's no one to save and Joe says 'casualties of war/find the black box' stuff.

Final Fantasy XII: I'm at the ... whatever place with the electricity and mimics and zombies in the dark. (OK I don't have time to finish, so I'm just going to save this draft here and finish after work or something...)

OK I'm back from work. Anyway, I got to that place. I think it's called... Barheim Passage... but that might be ANOTHER place in the game, I forget XZD;;;;; And I bought 2 of the monographs so far ^___^ And some other stuff. IDK. I don't know what I want to say about this game. XZD; Completing the bestiary in this area is going to be tedious because it seems that you only really get one of those... super skeletons (like... skeleton... knight... things...) per 'run' around the place, so it'll take quite a while, especially since I want to fight all the stuff that comes out (bone fragments, caramels, green liquid, bomb fragment, etc. <3 <3 LOTS OF GIL).

Everyone is leveling nicely... level 13 for all, and learning cool abilities. Fran's magic is powering up, Balthier's item abilities are schweet (lots of lore <3), and Vaan is good at attacking, stealing, and taking damage since he's my front man right now :)

Basch (despite being almost unbearably sexy as he's all dirty and scruffy and beardly after being imprisoned for a couple years <3) is SO freaking annoying... he always just dashes off and fights EVERYTHING, punch punch punch punch, and like... he sucks at fighting because he has no weapons (and can't take equips because he's a guest X_x), but he makes all the monsters pissed at him so they CONSTANTLY are beating him up. This is not cool when the lights go out and there are zombies and specters EVERYWHERE. Because Basch ends up dying :( Fran's MP can't keep up with his stupid reckless behavior, and I don't want to auto-control EVERYONE just so that I don't have to heal Basch :\ I set up a new gambit on Balthier so that he will potion when someone is below 50% HP because I found that gambit in a chest... and of course he's ONLY tossing potions at Basch 9_9; Fran casts Cure whenever anyone drops below 70%, so when her MP dies, Balthier uses a bit of the potion supply to heal Basch a bunch. It's not so bad since potions are not that hard to find (I had like 79 of them before setting up that gambit) and cheap to buy, and I'm getting tons of loot right now anyway.

I think when I finish XII, I'm going to start a new game in FF4, and then play After Years after that. I just realized there are TWELVE damned chapters to that game =_=;;; I don't want to buy all those chapters!!! But I saw a Cid artwork and he looked hot, and I saw a little ditty about his story and it seems there's someone I can easily ship him with that would be awesome, too >_>;;;;;;;; Plus I miss all my loves from that universe <3 So it'll be fun to have a big party with Cecil, Rosa, Edward, etc. again :) Not to mention Yang and his mustache <3

Anyway, here's pic of dirty prisoner Basch yay.



AND YAY it's Friday evening <3 I had a stressful week. Learning that my grad app was screwed EVEN MORE, two days of work where students got in a fight (wtf), teaching disrespectful HS kids who call me a fag and talk in the "gay voice" to me (wtf x99), having to witness all kinds of sexist ideals being reinforced in schools, paying off debt stuff, etc. So I'mma freaking go watch my brother play BioCom for a while (mmmmmm Spencey <3) and then play FF12 until my eyes fall out. Which considering the condition of my eyes... may not be that long, lol.

K BYE.

ETA: The last three entires were ABOVE my "top" post on lj. You know, the one you set way into the future so it always stays at top? Wow, I'm getting old. I remember setting that forever ago... and when it used to have Konno (<3 <3) on it and listed all these "current" things... wow.

:3

( Read more... )

( writer's block, feeling pooful )

( dream )

Oh yeah, one of the people writing a rec letter for me just NEVER TURNED IT IN, so now my grad app is TEN DAYS LATE... um... yeah. I already was not expecting to get in, but this is just like... decorating my grave, now.

( And then just... don't read anything past this point... )

I think I did something like this before already. Oh well XZD
I'll give two answers for some... "new" meaning something that was created in 2009, and "old" meaning something I was just really into in 2009 for the first time (or a... noteable renewal of interest, like MMX5) but wasn't new to other people, or even possibly myself, in 2009.

For my own reference, here are my fandoms that were completely new to 2009 that I can remember:
Bionic Commando 2009
Rune Factory Frontier
The Legendary Starfy 5
Spectrobes: Origins
Pokémon Platinum
Tokimeki Memorial 4

Games that weren't new that I was really into and/or got into for the first time in 2009 for a decent amount of time:
Mega Man X4
Mega Man X5
Mega Man X6
Mega Man X7
Mega Man X8
Mega Man X Command Mission
Maverick Hunter X
Mega Man
Mega Man 2
Mega Man 3
Mega Man 4
Mega Man 9
Mega Man Zero 4
Final Fantasy IX
Final Fantasy VII
Final Fantasy Tactics A-2
Kingdom Hearts
Kingdom Hearts Re:Chain of Memories
Kingdom Hearts II
Metal Gear Solid
Animal Crossing: City Folk (...sadly XZD)
Hotel Dusk: Room 215
Bionic Commando: Rearmed
Blue Dragon
Assassin's Creed
Banjo-Kazooie
Lost Odyssey
Persona 3
Persona 4
Water Closet: The Forbidden Chamber

... and maybe some more O_o

OK, on with the questions:

First Fandom of 2009
New: Rune Factory Frontier (March 2009)
Old: Mega Man X5 (January 2009)

Favorite Main Character of 2009
New: Nathan Spencer
Old: X, Axl, Sora

Favorite Villain of 2009
New: I... don't want to say Joe, but I very well may have to :( Because the other games of this year had boring villains (Starfy 5, Spectrobes 3, etc.)
Old: Ground Scaravich <3 hahaha. And Gate and Lumine, too.

Favorite Game Character of 2009
New: NATHAN SPENCER <3 I... feel sad because I'm his only fan... XZD But he's lovely.
Old: Reeve Tuesti/Cait Sith... OK, so I knew of Cait Sith before 2009, but I didn't really know anything other than like... he was a stupid cat thing and I always quit the game shortly after getting him in the party. Since I cleared FF7 for the first time in 2009, he was def a "new" character for me this year. As for characters who were not new to me in 2009 but I still loved in 2009, I'mma go with X, Axl, and Naminé. :)

Favorite Game of 2009
New: Bionic Commando 2009. Def a personal GOTY for me, though I def want to give a HUGE honorable mention to Rune Factory Frontier. RFF was leagues above the other RF games, and it was insane fun, made me love Bianca, and gave me Eunice and some sexy bugs :) Spectrobes 3 is a nice third place, too... I was surprised at the quality of that game!
Old: THIS IS TOUGH. I started playing Mega Man X5 serious around January (though I had owned the game for a while), and after finishing it, I bought X6, X7, X8, and Command Mission and played them all throughout 2009... and then I went back and played X4 quite a bit, and I also replayed the first four Mega Man games a ton, and MM9... 2009 was a huge Mega Man year for me. On top of that, I played FFVII a lot... and not to mention I finally played all the way through the first Metal Gear Solid and then started playing more o_____________o I guess I'd probably have to say Metal Gear Solid wins... I was totally blown away by that game. I feel bad not picking MMX5 or MMX6, and then there's FFIX that I'd like to pick, too, but... I'm still gonna go with MGS.

Favorite Het Couple of 2009
Oh, mans, how I hate dividing things into "het" and crap. To me it's all just people.
Anyway...
New Canon: Raguna x Bianca (Rune Factory Frontier). Yup.
New Not Canon: Spencer x Mag, I guess XZD I just love Spencer and Mag, so ... why not?? *_* But honestly considering the game's events, they don't really have any time for 'coupling' :(
Old Canon: Zidane x Dagger <3 <3 <3 <3 Luckily X and I did that runthrough of FF9 so it's a game of 2009 :) :)
Old Not Canon: Alia x Gate :) or Eunice x her dad

Favorite Yuri Couple of 2009
New: ... Bianca x Tabatha...? IDK. Not a lot of good new stuff for this in 2009 I guess...
Old: Uhm. IDK. Like Yukari x Mitsuru or something. I didn't really get into any f/f things this year I guess. I was mostly playing and loving Mega Man, so... not many girls in that...?

Favorite Yaoi Couple of 2009
New: Nathan Spencer x Joseph Gibson <3 <3 And this is prolly my fav pairing of the year O_o Honorable mention goes to Grant x Kamtoga from Spectrobes 3 <3
Old: Red x Axl, prolly some others <3

Favorite Non-Couple Grouping of 2009
I added this category myself because I wanted to answer these:
New:
Grant x Kamtoga x Krux
Grant x Kamtoga x Rallen x Jeena
Eunice x her family
Joe x Groeder x Mag XZD;;;
Old:
Red Alert
Gate's research team XZDDD
and prolly a bunch more

Fandom That You Never Expected To Get Into
New: Honestly, Bionic Commando. When I first heard about it, it was like "Look. Guns and shooting and bland colors!!" and well, it ended up being guns and shooting and bland colors and tons of sexy people and interesting story and awesome gameplay and plenty of replay value and cool multiplayer and fantasy fodder and fun fun fun <3
Old: Final Fantasy VII or Assassin's Creed.

Fandom That Made An Unexpected Comeback
MEGA MAN X holy crap. Seriously, like... I always like MMX, and for the longest time I owned MMX5... and I was like... hey, I'll try playing this again. And WOW that game is awesome. And then I was like, so obsessed that I bought the rest of the X games I didn't have, and I really got into MM again... I had always liked it but it was INSANE how much I got re-obsessed with it. For pretty much ALL of 2009, and even still now, I've been obsessing over MM in some form :) That's like... my longest streak of staying really into something I think O_o I guess near the end of the year it got quite a bit more mild, but... still... o_o!

Fandom That Inspired The Most Crack
UH LIKE ALL OF THEM? All I ever do is think of game crack lmfao. I'd have to go with MM/MMX, though, because like... seriously like... Ground Scaravich x Alia x Signas = wtffffffffff XZDDD And that's like ALL I EVER THOUGHT OF LOL.

Last Fandom of 2009
Final Fantasy VII and Kingdom Hearts series. I finished my FF7 playthrough on Dec 31, and I was still playing through all of the KH games again with my brother at the turn of the year :)

Overall Favourite Fandoms of 2009
Bionic Commando, Mega Man X, Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy IX, and Metal Gear Solid :)

Predictions for 2010
~Will end up giving in and buying the 360 version of FF13 just so I can play it, since I don't have a PS3. Will obsess over characters I have no interest in now.
~Another Mega Man boom with the release of MM10... high possibility of Strike Man erotica, lmfao.
~Deeper interest in Final Fantasy VII...
~Will probably never clear FF12 despite how much I want to...
~Will at some point get into Persona 4 again and come up with all kinds of creepy crack like mustached Personas x users and crap like your uncle x his daughter (x something/someone else lol)
~Will become more of a furry.
~Will give in and buy Trauma Team as well...
~If I somehow get money, I'll probably end up with more Harvest Moon games despite swearing off the series after the horrible There There and Island of Suckiness
~Possible revival of interest in anime, though... not all that likely...
~Revival of interest in Pokémon with Heart Gold and Soul Silver that will not last as my interest in the series is slowly declining, sadly...

I wouldn't because I'd have to come back after that day. It'd be like going to sleep and waking up, except worse :(

Anyway, it's like 6AM and I'm STILL freaking awake X_____X; I have no idea why. I'm really tired, too.

I spent a lot of time playing LIPS with my brother today and yesterday, or maybe the day before... or something. I don't know. A lot of game.

I played FF12 a bit, too. IDK if I posted about this, but I managed to steal two quality hides from the Werewolfs in Giza Plains after casting Protect and blinding them, and I was going to try to fight them (all I did was run until they stopped chasing me after they attacked me once).

But then like randomly one like... did a bazillion hit combo to me and killed me so I lost all my progress. I was very sad. I didn't play for like 2 days.

Then I started playing again today and went into the Garamsythe Waterways and started beating up stuff. I got ANOTHER Oak Staff from a chest and was VERY happy about that, and then randomly an Icthon or whatever they're called (fishies) just got like 8 hit combo or something on me when I had like 70 HP (and they do like 9-10 damage so they didn't seem that threatening at the time...) and then I died.

Then I was sad again. I'm getting frustrated with my bad luck in this game. I guess I should be more careful...? But I'm going to make sure I get another Oak Staff before going on next time, dammit!!

I think I might start playing FF7 again. I was reading a plot synopsis thing and the story is a lot cooler when you kinda realize how it fits together better reading it all at once :) So now I want to play again. I actually think FF7 has one of the better potential story, it just wasn't realized very well in the game. The game was too thin and had a miserable localization.

If I could get them to completely remake any FF game using today's tech to build the story and presentation, but keep the basic gameplay in-tact (with tweaks and updates, but nothing that changes it too vastly), then I would want them to remake FF5 or FF7. Both of those games had so much potential, but because of the time they were made, they kinda got the shaft. I mean, FF5's story is cool at heart, but it ended up just being a bunch of weird slapstick and WAY too fast scenes thrown together. FF7 also had so much potential, but the first attempt at 3D got in the way of realizing that potential.

BTW I still think FF9 is the best FF game :) It will be VERY VERY VERY hard for any game to ever top that for me o________o;

My opinion on the games has changed a LOT though. I like FF4 a lot less now (I still love it, just... less) and I like FF7 a lot more. I am kinda embarrassed to say it because I like... actively hated that game for so long >_> I still think a lot of my core sentiments were justified, but just grossly exaggerated.

Anyway, I have like 230958 things to say but I'm just too tired. I'mma sleep.

Here's what I need to do tomorrow:

1. laundry laundry laundry laundry
2. eat the sandwich
3. laundry
4. taxes
5. beyblade (i just have to do the preview for next ep... the ep itself is done)
6. uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i know there are more things :( why do i forget

Also LIPS is all messed up now w/ the cheevies for the new game being in the old one (alskdjf). But you can get POKER FACE. VERY TEMPTED TO BUY IT.

Memories stopped...? Like I stopped forming memories? Or I lost all my memories? What? In either case, it doesn't seem like it would matter either way, would it? You can't really enjoy much without your memory...

With memories, though, I guess I wouldn't be able to choose, as there's lots of things that are nice about various ages. If I was younger, I could be pretty but I'd be plagued with youth, especially if my maturity stayed the way it was when I was younger. It'd also make it easier to get old men, though?? If I was old, I could have a better mustache. Actually, I'd probably choose to be older because of that. But then I'd be physically weaker. I guess I could spend a lot of time getting in better shape since I was living forever anyway.

IDK, living forever is kinda stupid and I'd get sick of it fast. Plus after even the first little bit of Lost Odyssey, I can easily see how painful it would be to have to live forever. And it would be terribly lonely. But maybe after a while I'd get really used to it and like... not care anymore or something... or like the way I perceived time would be really different... or something, IDK.

Either way, IDC. I'd rather die forever LOLLL

I am gonna make some new lj icons. woot.

OK I just was walking back to my room to go to bed, and I glanced at the door and totally thought I saw someone standing at the door just staring in through the window part and HOLY CRAP HOLY CRAP that scared the life candy out of my pinata :(

In other news, I forgot I had a green palmer in my bag... I put it in my fridge ^_____^ forgetting you have awesome things is lovely because when you remember it's even better than if you hadn't forgotten. But I wish I'd remembered a little sooner so I could've enjoyed it while drawing.

I'm tempted to take off work again tomorrow lol. But I won't... gotta work work work. No time for slacking. T_T Then I also need to srsly do some laundry... and file my taxes and translate some stuff and etc T_T I like won't have time or the morale to play FF12 until like... Friday night D:!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday is traditionally not a very busy sub day, though, so maybe I won't get a job tomorrow. And I have one for every day this week but today, so maybe the chance of me getting called even when there are absences will be rare (like, maybe they do it by who has had the least work or something... I hope it's not by like... who is the best at responding/most responsible, because then they'd prolly call me T_T Though that one time I locked my keys in my car so maybe I moved down that list :) :) ;;;; )

Oh and update on previous post: The reason the person flamed me was because it was a 'gay' drawing and because it had an old man in it. SO UH NEVERMIND I was just assuming like I did some crazy taboo thing but they were just normal flame troll person T_T But I still apologized to them politely and said I was sad it didn't suit their taste x____x;; I can't find it to be mean unless someone like... directly tries to hurt someone else's feelings, then I will be mean and vengeful... even though I don't want to be T_T But I lose control when I see people being intentionally hurtful.

WTF RAMBLING OK SLEEP NOW. Srsly. I didn't sleep much last night b/c of FF12 and now I'm only gonna get like 5 hours tonight, too. SUGGH. I hope I don't end up with a difficult assignment tomorrow :\

If I don't get a job in the morning, I'm going to take off the whole day though. Because it's not worth it to go in for a half day T_T I mean, it is, but seriously considering that I have to pay for the gas and lose out on the time I could spend doing something fun... I'd rather put aside the $30 I'd get for going in for 4 hours. :\

OK so I worked today and it was easy woot. I took my PSP but it was dead so I didn't get to play :( But I was the teacher had a book about child development so I read that for 7 hours LOL. Not kidding XZD;; All I had to do was sit there while everyone did busywork for foods class O_o

I played FF12 today or last night or something (I'm tired... IDK what's going on anymore XZDD) and I am still Vaan... XZD;; I have gotten my besty for the Garamsythe Waterways filled (well, the things in the first couple rooms... Steelers?? (bat thnings), Dire Rats, and... Ichtion (omg why does everything have such weird names... the fish thingies). I also fought the rare mark in there... the like... fish thingy (omg...) and I actually found it 2x in a row... out of the 2 times I went in that room o____________o; It says Rarity ***** so I wonder how accurate that is O_o IDK what makes it appear, but I fought it twice <3 I stole a water crystal the first time after like 10000000 steals, and the second time I tried to steal like 2x and decided not to bother and just killed it lol.

Uhhhhh yeah then I went out and sold stuff. I guess that's all I really did O_o I didn't really play that long because I had to do other things or something IDK. I'm tired LOL.

Oh I went and drew. I drew this relative crappy (and I mean relative to my normal crap level...) picture of Kelga and Galuf making out LOL and like it looked kinda dumb but I put it on FA anyway, and like... within seconds I got flamed(?) for it O_o like the person said it should be taken off the site and it offends their eyes, and they put a little mad face.

I think it's because furry x human is some kind of weird taboo or something though?? IDK, I like NEVER see it... though I guess thinking on it I've seen some stuff with Kimahri x humans. Actually, now that I think about it, I've seen him with pretty much the whole cast besides Rikku O_o

But yeah I apologized to the person and like IDK I kinda wanna take it down now. But I kinda wanna leave it up and see if anyone like... maybe explains it further or something??? IDK. Or maybe my friends on there will like say that it's no big or something. IDK.

But I've drawn much more "offensive" things... like I drew a picture of a Charmeleon with three little boys... not only was the Charmeleon actual Char shaped (not like... anthro version) but it was explicitly sexual, so it was like... hardcore shota and zoo. But like wolf tongue + human tongue is like bad or something O_o? Or maybe that person really doesn't like FFV or something. I just have no idea.

I left them a comment saying I was sorry and didn't want to upset anyone and asked them what was wrong. I think I respond to flames like in a broken way. I think I'm supposed to like... ignore it or fight with them or something????? I guess I shouldn't really worry about like... random comment on furry site... but like, I worry about everything or something 9_9;

Holy crap Kobukuro just came on my playlist <3 <3 <3 They always make me feel so romantic <3 <3 Their music is so gorgeous. And Kuroda-san's voice is lovely <3 <3 <3 <3 It makes me want to melt. Actually I am started to drip at my edges I think.

I don't really turn on music that much, so when songs I really love come on, I like... get all excited because it's such a rare event XZDD

That Pokemon Arceus movie O_o and I sat through it. I might've seen worse before though, maybe?? But I don't really like saying movies are "good" or "bad" because it's not like I'm a professional director/actor etc. It bothers me that people think that "I like this movie." = "This movie is good."

I mean I can be objective about it to some extent, but to act like I'm able to give a final judgment is like... so pretentious or something. But I guess everyone else does it so maybe I'm just overthinking?????

Anyway, what I disliked about it was the completely random and contradicting plot. Like it made no sense with the time travel and the overall idea was kinda lame anyway. Plus it has the new Pokemon voices which STILL bother me. I would go into a lot more detail but I feel no one would care XZDDDD

Anyway, I gotted a job for today. I almost didn't take it because I was like "um shud I tek it? if i dun then i get play ff12 all day :DDD" but I forced myself to just click it in the end.

Now I gotta take a shower and stuff really fast T_T I don't even really have any clean clothes. I'm just going to wear stuff that I didn't wear much that I wouldn't consider super dirty >_>;

But I think the job for today should be easy. It's at the high school though which means earlyyyyyy. But it's like... for 'home science' or something which means probably smaller classes and more behaved people and less doing things.

I need to come back and respond to my comments and stuff latorz... ok byee

So I kept playing FF12...( minor spoilers for beginning of game )